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Sound Bites on Kink

The following sound bites are meant to help you create your own sound bites in the way you naturally speak. Work out how you want to say certain things before hand so you’re prepared when you speak to a reporter.

Sometimes there is no graceful way to segue into a sound bite. The point is that you are setting the tone of the conversation, not the reporter. Don’t answer any question you don’t have a prepared sound bite for because likely that is the answer they will pull to use in their article or piece. Out of a 1/2 long interview, you will only see one or two quotes in print, or be on the air for about 10 seconds. So don't ad lib because the off-the-cuff remark is the one the reporter will use.

Don’t think of this like a BDSM 101 class and don't give any lessons on technique. Most of the people in your audience are NOT kinky and never will be, so it just confuses them to explain things the way you would to a newbie who is interested in kink. Some of the most effective sound bites talk about issues of discrimination and injustice against our communities. “Stimulation” and “sensation” are great words to use—it is clear and non-threatening unlike kink-specific language like "flogging" or "spanking," etc.

Safe, Sane and Consensual

Thirty years ago, a community-wide ethic was established known as "safe, sane and consensual." This creed has permeated the BDSM subculture far beyond the organized community. RACK is also used as a creed – “risk-aware consensual kink” and focuses on personal responsibility and informed consent.

The educational and social kink groups constantly discuss issues of consent, which is the basis of safe, sane and consensual sexual education.

If They Want Specific Definitions:

1. "Safe" is being knowledgeable about what you are doing. Each participant must be informed about the possible risks, both mentally and physically.

2. "Sane" is knowing the difference between fantasy and reality. Knowledgeable consent cannot be given by a child, or if you impaired by drugs or alcohol.

3. "Consensual" is respecting the limits imposed by each participant. One of the ways to maintain limits is through a "safeword" - in which the person being stimulated can withdraw consent at any time with a single word or gesture.

Safe Words

Safewords are one way of communicating to ensure that everything stays consensual. The participants can stop what's happening at any time with a pre-arranged word, or by saying “red” or “safeword.”

Communication and Negotiation

We negotiate what we want to do before engaging in kink or fetish practices to make sure that what we do is mutually satisfying. People who have kinky sex must learn how to communicate exactly what they want with their partners.

In Defense of BDSM events

Educational and social kink groups make an important contribution to society. Volunteers teach other adults how to be responsible about their relationships, and they teach them about communication, negotiation and setting limits. It takes hands-on instruction, peer feedback and community discussion for people to master certain skills.

Our group has existed for XX years as an educational and social group, teaching people how to do kinky sex safely and consensually.

Our group is only one of over 500 educational and social organizations that exist in America for kinky people.

We are members of your local community, we live and work here just like you.

Like the gay and lesbian community in the 1960-70’s, kinksters can feel very alone and isolated. We provide a place for them where they can get the support of their peers, where they don't have to be ashamed or afraid of who they are.

Defining BDSM

BDSM is power exchange and roleplay. It includes physical, mental or emotional stimulation that is usually perceived in a sexual way. Kink also can include fetishes, cross-dressing and nonmonogamy.

Along with kink, BDSM is a popular term that is used – Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & submission, and Sadomasochism.

Sensual, Loving Sexual Expression

Most kinky people don’t refer to what they do as BDSM unless they are part of the organized BDSM community. They simply incorporate love bites, blindfolds, tickling and role play into their sex lives.
People do BDSM because they enjoy it. It provides a deeper intimacy and trust between partners.

Kink is Healthy Sex

In 2013, the American Psychiatric Association officially stated in the paraphilias criteria for the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual (DSM-5) that kinky sex is a healthy form of sexual expression.

Statistics of Practitioners

According to Joyal and Carpentier, a Canadian study, half the sample (45.6%) acknowledged a desire for at least one kink and approximately one-third (33.9%) had engaged in a kink behavior at least once during their lifetimes. (2016)

There are millions kinky people, some who consider it to be their sexual orientation while others simply engage in kinky sex of some form or another. They are your neighbors, doctor, bus driver, your family members and co-workers.

Combat Stereotypes

Contrary to stereotypes, there are many women who enjoy being sexually dominant, and many more people who enjoy switching roles. People can role play and experience things they normally wouldn't get to do in their real life.

Discrimination and Violence

Discrimination and violence happens to people like you and me just because they engage in diverse sexual practices such as kink or fetishes. Discrimination ranges from family pressures, to job loss, to loss of child custody.

The NCSF Violence & Discrimination Survey 2008 found that 1/3 of over 3000 people surveyed suffered some form of discrimination or persecution. They lost their job or even their children because of the myths and stereotypes. Others suffered violence and were physically attacked because of the stereotypes.

According to the most recent NCSF surveys, 70% of the respondents are closeted about their kinky sex life to the rest of the world out of fear of serious repercussions.

If you need more information, feel free to Susan Wright with the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom at 917-848-6544.