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Articles tagged with: Tabu Social Club

"Black Leather: Sex, Kink & HIV-Prevention within the Black Leather Community"

on Thursday, 21 April 2016. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

POZ

by Guy Anthony

I spend my life being as honest and transparent as possible. I, like many other Black gay men, have felt the brunt of the stigma attached to a skin pigment or sexual preference that we simply cannot change. We, of all people, have no right to judge anyone based on how they love, who they love, or how they choose to take ownership of their bodies. As a self-proclaimed sex-positive gay man, I must admit that the Leather and BDSM community was quite an intimidating topic to take on.

That was until I met 2016 Leatherman of Color, Khalid El-Bey, who happens to be an unassuming gentle giant - in leather chaps.

When he approached me a few months ago about raising money for my organization Black, Gifted & Whole, I was both confused and flattered. I didn't think we would be the type of organization he would be interested in supporting. I had an unsubstantiated theory floating around in my peanut head about who and what the leather community represented. My own fear of what others thought of my body prohibited me from being as sexually free and affirming as they. The fact that my body had been compromised countless times as a child crippled my sexual liberation.

As an openly HIV-positive Black gay man living in DC, I had to check my respectability politics. This is where the brightest of the bright shine, where the political savvy call Capitol Hill home. Who you're seen with and where you work are qualifiers for friendship. Should you dare to deviate from the proposed agenda of successful Black gay men here, you might as well pack up your Camry and head back to your humble beginnings. For this reason alone,  I celebrate people like Khalid, who say that I can love my body, eroticism and the lives of those most impacted by HIV--all at the same damn time.

Most gay men have heard of Onyx, but not many Black gay men. Why do you think there may be a disconnect between the Black gay community and the leather community?

We celebrated our 20th Anniversary in Chicago, IL during what was called BlackOut20 (BOXX) in the fall of 2015. We are a leather fraternity founded and operated by men of color yet we are open to anyone who is interested in the fellowship of our brotherhood. ONYX’s mission is to be an informational and social organization that addresses issues specific to people of color who choose to project the positive aspects of the leather lifestyle and support our community and economic initiatives. Our motto is: "Educate, Explore, and Empower."

I feel that many in the Black gay community initially think that we are a sex club and/or that leather is for only white people. ONYX has a long standing reputation within the leather community with members both nationwide and internationally.

For the record,  is the longest existing leather club for people of color and is known for its hospitality and infamous annual ONYX leather dance at International Mr. Leather (IML) Weekend in Chicago and our cocktail party at Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL) in Washington, DC. ONYX is the longest existing leather club for people of color and is known for its hospitality and infamous annual ONYX leather dance at International Mr. Leather (IML) Weekend in Chicago and our cocktail party at Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL) in Washington, DC. ...

" Consensual non-monogamy a way of life for Edmonton polyamorists"

on Monday, 08 September 2014. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Edmonton Journal


By Fiona Buchanan

 

EDMONTON - An unusual Edmonton group is seeking to raise awareness about their unique formula for blissful romance. Polyamory Edmonton is a group of people that practise consensual, non-monogamous relationships. They are in the process of becoming a non-profit organization and want to educate Edmontonians about their unconventional take on romantic partnerships.

Founder Alyson Sidra, who is married and dating outside that relationship, gives a crash course on polyamory and explains why it can be a recipe for relationship success.

What is polyamory?

If someone identifies as polyamorous, they are open to having more than one romantic partner with the openness, consent and honesty of everyone involved. There wouldn’t be any cheating or anything secretive. Everyone knows who the other is dating or involved with.

What makes polyamory any different from polygamy or polyandry?

Polyamory can take on many different structures. People may have heard of swinging, for example, which is an open relationship, but strictly sexual. But polyamorous relationships are open to romantic partnerships rather than just sexual ones. Some couples might date other people separately, outside of their relationship. Others go into it wanting to mutually date the same person, where everyone is equally involved with each other. There are triads with three people, and other relationship groupings with four or more. How interactive those people are with each other can definitely vary.

Does this relationship structure actually work out in the long-term?

Yes, several people in our community who identify have been in relationships that lasted several years, five years, 10 years. I know personally of several members who have had long-term relationships with multiple people that lasted decades. Some are short-lived, some are long-lived, just like any monogamous relationship would be.

Polyamorous relationships must be tough to manage with so many people involved. Is it tricky?

It can be. We jokingly say that poly people can be very adept at scheduling. Other than that, most poly relationships have very similar issues to monogamous ones, just with more than one person.

Some people might say that romantic love doesn’t work when it is not exclusively between two people. How do you view it?

In my marriage, it felt comfortable for us to open up to love and to date other people without it feeling at all threatening or making our own relationship insecure. In fact, in a lot of ways, it tended to make it stronger. There’s a lot of communication involved.

You are not born with a certain amount of it and it definitely doesn’t get depleted the more people you have in your life. People view romantic love as something very different, but the love that you have for family and friends and children, it multiplies. For polyamorous people, so does romantic love. I think most poly people would agree that their capacity for love is just part of who they are. ...

" Polyamory Advocate: Gay Marriage 'Blazing the Marriage Equality Trail'"

on Tuesday, 25 June 2013. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Supreme Court decisions on marriage unlikely to directly impact status of polygamy, other multiperson relationships

US News

The U.S. Supreme Court could rule any day on challenges to two laws blocking legal recognition for same-sex marriages – the federal Defense of Marriage Act and California's voter-approved Proposition 8 – but advocates for polyamorous couples say "marriage equality" for that minority group is unlikely in the immediate future.

Anita Wagner Illig, a longtime polyamory community spokesperson who operates the group Practical Polyamory, is unsure of the direct impact of a ruling that would legalizes same-sex marriage nationwide.

Until recently, she noted, "the polyamory community has expressed little desire for legal marriage," but now more options seem possible in the future. "We polyamorists are grateful to our [LGBT] brothers and sisters for blazing the marriage equality trail," Illig said.

[RELATED: Timing of Gay Marriage Ruling No Surprise to Court Watchers]

Illig believes there is indeed a "slippery slope" toward legal recognition for polygamy if the court rules in favor of nationwide same-sex marriage, an argument typically invoked by anti-gay marriage advocates. "A favorable outcome for marriage equality is a favorable outcome for multi-partner marriage, because the opposition cannot argue lack of precedent for legalizing marriage for other forms of non-traditional relationships," she said.

But Illig concedes, "there will be quite a lot of retooling of the legal system necessary to establish marriage equality for marriages of more than two people. A marriage of two people of the same sex requires a lot less in terms of adapting today's systems, such as Social Security, for example, to accommodate it."

"It is hard to predict" the possible legal side-effects of the Supreme Court rulings "since [the cases are] about official recognition rather than criminalization," George Washington University law professor Jonathan Turley told U.S. News.

Turley is representing the polygamist Brown family, which has four wives and one husband, in their challenge to Utah's cohabitation law. The Brown family stars in TLC's "Sister Wives," which records the family's day-to-day life, as well as their flight from Utah to Nevada after local authorities began to surveil them and openly mull felony charges. ...

"Alleged Sex Camp Raises Concerns In Greene Co."

on Wednesday, 11 April 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

CBS Pittsburgh (KDKA)

An alleged sex camp is causing controversy in a community in Greene County.

The place is located on Edgar Hill Road in Washington Township and is known as “the dungeon,” the site of sex parties that charge members for a Bondage Domination and Sadomasochism (BDSM) experience.

That is according to the group’s website which even advertises cutting and blood play. The site was taken down Tuesday. Critics say they know why.

“What goes on up there – I wouldn’t even say on TV,” Leonard Dean said. “I mean, it’s all about sex and it’s all dirty, about what you can get and it doesn’t need to be here and the man makes a lot of money doing it.”

Linda Dean lives on a piece of the land owned by her parents, Ron and Joann Valetti of Greensburg. She says they recently handed over camp operations to a business partner. The barn is locked, but she managed to snap several photos of the alleged sex devices inside.

“We just want it to stop,” Linda Dean said. “I would have never in a million years thought that this was going on and I’m ashamed and I’m humiliated and it’s a shame.” ...

""Fifty Shades of Grey" a big hit in the suburbs"

on Saturday, 24 March 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

CBS

The erotic book, "Fifty Shades of Grey" is now a best-seller because women who can't put it down are sharing it with just about everyone they know.

The novel by British author E.L. James tells the story of a virginal college student seduced by an older chief executive officer. The book's being called "Twilight for moms."

But there's nothing PG-13 about it. Sari Cooper a sex and relationship expert, said of the book, "The more graphic domination, submission sex scenes, I think that's why it's creating more of a buzz. What woman are saying is, 'This is so hot.'"

Mostly through word of mouth, the novel and its two sequels, "Fifty Shades Darker" and "Fifty Shades Freed," have topped the New York Times e-books chart.

Cooper said, "When women enter their late 30s or their 40s, they come into their own sexually, they're more willing and confident to start thinking about what they want, especially if they've been in a long-term relationship. So maybe it has hit that group and they happen to be at that age, so that they're really willing to be able to talk about it." ...

"Arkansas Weatherman Wakes Up in Bathtub With Corpse"

on Friday, 09 September 2011. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

ABC News

An Arkansas weatherman woke up in a bathtub with a dead body this week after an evening of alcohol and drugs, according to a police report. The meteorologist’s friend Dexter Williams, 24, was found dead, wearing nothing but a dog collar.

Brett Cummins, 33, is a meteorologist for KARK, the NBC affiliate in Little Rock, Ark. On Sunday, Cummins’ friend Christopher Barbour, 36, invited Cummins to his house in Maumelle. Cummins arrived at 8 p.m. with his friend Williams.

According to a police report Barbour said the trio “began to drink and use illegal narcotics.”

“Mr. Barbour stated that he was not sure of the drugs that they were using but that they were snorting them,” Officer Gergory Roussie wrote in his report of the scene. He also said that they consumed alcohol in a hot tub.

Barbour said that around 11 p.m., he left the other two men in the jacuzzi and went to sleep on the couch. When he woke up at 8 a.m. the next morning, he found his bed still made and the two men in a bathtub with no water in it. Barbour began to clean up glassware from the previous night and woke Cummins up.

They quickly realized that Williams was unconscious and looked discolored. “Brett screamed and became ill and left the bathroom and vomited on the carpet in the living room,” Roussie wrote in the police report. Cummins left the house but eventually came back to give a police statement.

The men called the police, who arrived shortly after. Officer Roussie entered the bathroom and saw a naked, white male in the bathtub.

“The subject was lying on his right side in a fetal position, his face was blue and purple in color with a chain around his neck,” Roussie wrote. He also wrote that he believed the chain was a dog collar and that he “observed a small ring of blood around the bottom of the tub.”

Neighbors noticed the party on Sunday night but were shocked to hear about the mysterious death. ...