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" Consensual non-monogamy a way of life for Edmonton polyamorists"

on Monday, 08 September 2014. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Edmonton Journal


By Fiona Buchanan

 

EDMONTON - An unusual Edmonton group is seeking to raise awareness about their unique formula for blissful romance. Polyamory Edmonton is a group of people that practise consensual, non-monogamous relationships. They are in the process of becoming a non-profit organization and want to educate Edmontonians about their unconventional take on romantic partnerships.

Founder Alyson Sidra, who is married and dating outside that relationship, gives a crash course on polyamory and explains why it can be a recipe for relationship success.

What is polyamory?

If someone identifies as polyamorous, they are open to having more than one romantic partner with the openness, consent and honesty of everyone involved. There wouldn’t be any cheating or anything secretive. Everyone knows who the other is dating or involved with.

What makes polyamory any different from polygamy or polyandry?

Polyamory can take on many different structures. People may have heard of swinging, for example, which is an open relationship, but strictly sexual. But polyamorous relationships are open to romantic partnerships rather than just sexual ones. Some couples might date other people separately, outside of their relationship. Others go into it wanting to mutually date the same person, where everyone is equally involved with each other. There are triads with three people, and other relationship groupings with four or more. How interactive those people are with each other can definitely vary.

Does this relationship structure actually work out in the long-term?

Yes, several people in our community who identify have been in relationships that lasted several years, five years, 10 years. I know personally of several members who have had long-term relationships with multiple people that lasted decades. Some are short-lived, some are long-lived, just like any monogamous relationship would be.

Polyamorous relationships must be tough to manage with so many people involved. Is it tricky?

It can be. We jokingly say that poly people can be very adept at scheduling. Other than that, most poly relationships have very similar issues to monogamous ones, just with more than one person.

Some people might say that romantic love doesn’t work when it is not exclusively between two people. How do you view it?

In my marriage, it felt comfortable for us to open up to love and to date other people without it feeling at all threatening or making our own relationship insecure. In fact, in a lot of ways, it tended to make it stronger. There’s a lot of communication involved.

You are not born with a certain amount of it and it definitely doesn’t get depleted the more people you have in your life. People view romantic love as something very different, but the love that you have for family and friends and children, it multiplies. For polyamorous people, so does romantic love. I think most poly people would agree that their capacity for love is just part of who they are. ...

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