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Porn researchers give media boost

on Thursday, 18 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

Have ever read science claiming that pornography is addictive because it “burns out your dopamine”, then been confused because you cannot find a diagnosis for “porn addiction” in either the World Health Organization or American Psychiatric Association? You are not alone.

In the last five years, anti-pornography groups have spent millions of dollars marketing fake science to consumers, then profit by selling untested therapies, anti-pornography apps, and books. This stops now.

Scientists and therapists who are experts in human sexuality have come together to provide accurate information to the public in www.realyourbrainonporn.com. The website introduces the basic principles of science, links to studies summarized by the professors who wrote them (www.realyourbrainonporn.com/research), then links you to dozens of scientists and therapists ready to connect (www.realyourbrainonporn.com/experts). These experts include the principle investigator for the first research-based porn literacy curriculum for youth, the first person to coin the expression “sex positive”, the first neuroscience lab to test the addiction model of pornography, and the lab that demonstrated porn did not impact partner satisfaction in the largest pre-registered, failure-to-replicate in the field. Experts’ background includes terminal degrees in addictions, communications and media, sociology, psychology, neuroscience, and physiology, amongst others.

If you have ever read news about pornography and thought it sounded a little too breathless, a bit over the top, or possibly completely fabricated, you are the majority. It is time to correct this public misinformation. Now you have a free resource to share with others!

NCSF Thanks! – 1st Quarter Donation Report

on Wednesday, 17 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

Thank you to Leather SINS, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $10,000 to NCSF at Kinky Kollege Spring Break in Chicago on March 31st!

 

NCSF thanks Jaiya, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $1,670 to the NCSF Foundation altogether in the first quarter of 2019!

 

NCSF thanks Mistress Lucille, an NCSF Supporting Member, for donating $1,500 raised at Lucille Ballbuster's Birthday Bash in January.

 

Thank you to New Mexico Leather League, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $1,051 as their annual CP fundraiser in January.

 

Thank you to Marc DePaul for donating $1,000 to the NCSF Foundation in February!

 

NCSF thanks James Dunyak, NCSF’s New England Advocate, for donating $800 to the NCSF Foundation since December 2018!

 

Thank you Adventures in Sexuality, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $395 that was raised in their “Special Drawing” at Winter Wickedness in February. Thank you also to the attendees for donating $213 at the NCSF table for our Coffee & Consent service. A grand total of $608 was raised for NCSF at this year’s Winter Wickedness!

 

NCSF thanks Modern Tribe Counseling, an NCSF Coalition Partner which provides in person and distance counseling for our community in GA and FL, for donating $250 for the SouthEast Consent Summit.

 

NCSF thanks Ms. Martha's Corset Shoppe for donating $250 to our SouthEast Consent Summit in February.

 

Thank you to NLA Dallas, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $187 in December as their Coalition Partner fundraiser.

 

Thank you to Sanctuary Studios for donating $131 in December to NCSF.

 

Thank you to Jaeleen Bennis and Bondassage for donating $100 to NCSF in February.


NCSF thanks The HardPink Sisterhood for donating $100 to the NCSF Foundation on February 11, 2019 that is dedicated to the support of the SouthEast Consent Summit.

 

NCSF thanks Joel Gleason for donating $100 to the NCSF Foundation's SouthEast Consent Summit.

Incident Reporting & Response – 1st Quarter 2019 report

on Wednesday, 17 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

NCSF’s Incident Reporting & Response received 41 reports & requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in January, February and March 2019. This is down by over half compared to the 87 requests received in the 1st Quarter of 2018.

NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help, however we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest.

Here is a breakdown of the cases we dealt with in the 1st Quarter of 2019:

Groups

24 groups requested assistance, slightly up from the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 7 groups were asking about presenters/organizers or reporting they had banned someone
• 5 groups asked for resources on dealing with a consent incident or proactively creating a consent policy or consent team for their event
• 3 people asked about how to deal with being banned by a group
• 2 groups needed information on dealing with defamation lawsuits
• 2 groups reported being outed to their landlord/HOA
• 1 group needed information about insurance
• 1 group reported discrimination when their hotel broke their contract
• 1 group needed release form language regarding law enforcement officers attending
• 1 group asking about nudity/sexually explicit materials
• 1 group needed a KAP attorney for incorporation and zoning

Professional

There were 8 requests by professionals or for referrals to kink and polyamory aware professionals, similar to the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 5 people needed referrals to kink and polyamory aware professionals, including an expert witness
• 3 professionals needed resources, research or journal references

Civil

4 requests, compared to 6 requests in the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 3 involved workplace discrimination because of kink or nonmonogamy
• 1 sex worker asked for a referral for an incorporation attorney

Criminal

There were 3 requests for resources and information involving criminal legal matters, down from 16 requests in the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 3 people requested resources and referrals for attorneys to assist in defending themselves against accusations of assault, violating Restraining Order, or involving their appeal.

Child Custody

There were 2 requests for resources and referrals for family court attorneys, down from 5 in the 4th Quarter and 11 in the 3rd Quarter of 2018:

• 1 involved a parent who is a sex worker
• 1 involved a parent who is polyamorous

 

Taking the Taboo out of Minority Groups

on Monday, 15 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

Listen to Poly Anna's Conversation: Four with Susan Wright, Founder of the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom!

Poly Anna is bi and polyamorous. She believes conversation has the power to redefine what most consider "normal." Take the taboo out of perceptions about minority groups with Conversations/S3xploration with Poly Anna on Tuesdays, and with The After Chat with Poly Anna on Thursdays.

#NCSF #ConsentCounts #MeToo #WithPolyAnna #PolySwing #PolyAnna

Multiplicity of the Erotic (MOTE) conference

on Thursday, 11 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

We are pleased to announce the inaugural Multiplicity of the Erotic (MOTE) conference in Chicago on Friday, May 24, 2019, with special additional events the night before and the morning after. MOTE is an evolution of the former PASD/CARAS Alt Sex Conference, and will showcase the most cutting edge research and practices in the field of sexuality and sex therapy.

The theme of the first conference is Intersectionalities and Sexuality/Relationship Diversity.

So, Who Will Attend?
Sex researchers, sex therapists, health educators, professors, nurses, counselors, case managers, social workers, community organizers, sex nerds & many more…

To Register:
https://e.sparxo.com/mote-con

$185 for professionals, this also includes fee for CE credit
$90 for students and community members
$25 for Thursday night welcome / fundraiser

19 04 11

Why Mental Health Practice Guidelines are Crucial for Working with Kink, BDSM, & Fetish

on Friday, 15 March 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

As helping professionals, mental health workers have an ethical and a professional responsibility to provide culturally sensitive care to our clients. Sensitive care is especially crucial for individuals who are underserved and misunderstood in society, such as those involved in kink and fetish. When some find their way to mental health professionals for help, they may be fortunate to find a therapist who is knowledgeable and experienced with kink and BDSM. Yet, many more may find clinicians unfamiliar with kink who have unaddressed biases or may pathologize them. Due to this care gap and high likelihood of negative experiences, people involved in kink often fear being stigmatized and can experience the negative effects of minority stress.

To change this, in the Spring of 2018, a team of highly experienced clinicians gathered to explore what constitutes clinical best practices in working with those who are interested and/or involved in leather, kink, BDSM, and/or fetish eroticism.

Because our goal is to have this project be community-informed, we need YOUR input so our guidelines are culturally aware, clinically relevant, strengths-based, and useful. We invite community-members who are involved in kink/BDSM as well as clinicians, educators, and researchers familiar with the kink and fetish client experiences to share their ideas via our new 2019 Clinical Practice Guidelines Draft Survey. Your involvement will make these guidelines better informed,
more culturally appropriate, and inclusive.

Please invite others to participate as well. When we work together, we can create a safer world and better mental health resources for those who need them!

To feedback form directly: http://bit.ly/draftguidelines

Kink clinical guidelines

For more information:
https://www.kinkguidelines.com/

The NCSF Coalition Partners Met in Portland

on Monday, 11 March 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

The 22nd Annual Meeting of the NCSF Coalition Partners took place in Portland, OR, on March 2-3rd. The Coalition Partner representatives elected the Board Members and discussed new and ongoing projects, like Consent Counts which aims to decriminalize sexual conduct between consenting adults. The Annual Reports on NCSF programs and our goals for the year were discussed by Coalition Partner representatives.

18 Coalition Partners attended the NCSF Annual Meeting in person, online or by proxy:

1st Capital Finance
Adventures in Sexuality
Arizona Power Exchange
Asylum Buffalo
Black & Poly
Catalyst
Columbus Space
F.I.R.E.
FLOG St. Louis
MAsT Boise
New Mexico Leather League
PanEros Foundation
PolyDallas Millennium
Satin Sheet Dreams
StL3, Inc
TES
The Red Chair (TRC)
The Woodshed Orlando

This year, 9 people ran for 5 elected Board seats, all of whom had excellent qualifications. The members of the new NCSF Board are:

Susan Wright – Chairperson
Keira Harbison – Vice-Chair
Ben Schenker – Treasurer
Tess Zachary – Secretary
Archer Shelton
Choc Trei
Elizabeth Newsom, LCSW-Supervisor
J. Tebias
Jackie “Bebe” Harris
Judy Guerin
Rich Richbart
Ruby B Johnson, LCSW, LCDC
Russell J. Stambaugh, PhD, DST, CSSP

Rubys workshop at Annual Meeting

NCSF thanks Ruby B. Johnson, LCSW, LCDC, for providing a Consent Workshop entitled Power: The Individual following the Annual Meeting for CP reps, NCSF Board Members, Advocates and Staff. By the end of the workshops, participants could evaluate coercion, capacity, and advocacy in negotiating power exchange.

Immediately following was a special meeting of the Portland Sex Positive Community Council that discussed the upcoming Northwest Consent Summit on October 5-6th. We hope to see you there!

 

Guest Blog: Celebrating Metamour Day!

on Wednesday, 27 February 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

My name is Intimacy ConAmore. I am the Ambassador for PolyDallas Millennium. I am the creator of Polyamorous Freedom to Love. Thank you to my Metamour, Keira Of NCSF, for the opportunity to share my story.

Recently I was informed that there was going to be a day to celebrate Metamours, and I was excited to find this out. A Metamour is the title for describing your partners other significant others. I love having and being Metamours, some do not care to have or for being a Metamour. This is my experience with Metamours in my life. Growing up I was loved by my Grandparent's Metamours and those interactions are memories of joy.

My very own first Metamour and I decided to be friends and teach our cheating Jr. High Captain of the Football Team, Mr. popular boyfriend to be honest. And to this very day, he appreciates my decision to reach out to her and propose that she and I team up on him about his previously dishonest ways and encouraged him to be ethically non-monogamous. I still consider her a friend even though both of our relationships with him ended before freshman year of high school.

My next Metamour relationship was brief and sad. We didn't get to meet each other until the day of his funeral 23 years ago this coming March, the week of my Sr. Prom. To this day, I know that if I needed her help, she would be there for me and vice versa. This was bittersweet because we knew each other from school but I didn't really care about who else he was dating when I was with him so we just spoke in general terms about other partners. Recognizing her as a classmate at his funeral and then to have her embrace me and acknowledge me as his fiancé was an act of love that I felt she didn't have to do but she chose to do. In my mind we both loved him and we were both grieving, to me she was just as important on that day as I was even though she wasn't engaged or married to him. I have never really believed in the traditional ideas of relationship hierarchy. I give all of my Metamours the same initial opportunity to let me be a good friend to them regardless of how long they have been around or whether they are married to our shared love or even if they are just a new person that has been on just one date.

Then it was some years before I healed enough to have any seriously loving relationships again. My next Metamour changed my life. She hated me from the get go. But our shared partner always chose me when she tried to force him to stop having a relationship with me. It was two decades of hell with her. And recently she reached out and we had a decent conversation. I do not feel like she hated me now. I do not hold her previous choices to mistreat me against her. I have always wanted nothing but the best kinds of love for and from her. But it was a rough thing to deal with for so long, over and over again. I am not unscathed from it. I am happy that I still chose to love her through it all even if she couldn't accept it.

Recently, I had to make a choice that I have never wanted to make with any of my Metamours and break up with a Metamour. She was the partner to my ex-partner whom I still loved like a sister wife. I called her my child's other mom. Often times people couldn't tell which of us was our son's biological mom. We were so close and happy as friends and co-parents. I choose to love my friends of any capacity for life. Especially my Metamours even after neither of us are in relationships with whomever we originally shared as a mutual love. But this Metamour lost her way to Alcohol Addiction. I had to sever her relationship with myself and our son because her actions toward myself and my son were causing us harm. I am still saddened about this happening last April. It has been surreal celebrating holidays without her presence. I wish the best for her and I left the door open for her to return when she finds her way to a sober life.

Recently, I experienced more love from my Metamours than I ever conceived was possible. I went to Philadelphia for a week to visit a close friend and one of my newer partners of one and a half years. While I was there, we all attended the Polyliving Philadelphia 2019 Conference. During the conference I experienced what I would describe as magical metamourship. I met some Metamours for the first time and they were so warm and loving and truly made me feel like I had known them for years. Others I had met before but never had social one on one time with them. I got lots of one on one moments with so many of them throughout the weekend during the conference. In my mind, I kept thinking, if only that one Metamour that hated me for two decades would have just let us have what my new group of Metamours and I have. I can't speak highly enough of my personal experiences with all of these Metamours. It was everything and more than most Metamours get to experience.

Reality is that all relationships of whatever type are never perfect, not always happy and fulfilling, but that doesn't take away from my intentions to be the best Metamour I can be. I want to be a source of empowering love for my Metamours. They are crucial to the love and happiness of my partners. I can never be the everything that any one partner desires, so why wouldn't I be anything but welcoming to others to help add love to my partners’ lives. I hope that everyone gets to experience Metamour love and friendships the way that I have received and the way that I give. Happy Metamour Day!

February 28th is Metamour Day!

Metamour Day 5

Metamour Day 4

Metamour Day 9

Metamour Day 7

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