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I Was Wrong About Open Relationships

on Monday, 18 September 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

"Hi everyone! Mayim Bialik here from The Big Bang Theory and Blossom. Remember my video about not understanding open relationships? Well, turns out from your comments that I got a LOT wrong and I decided to address what I got wrong in this next heartfelt and hopefully more accurate video!"

Zoning Board revokes 'sex positive' club permit

on Monday, 18 September 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

by Julia Terruso

Attorney Leonard Reuter, who represented L&I, which granted the permit, said the city does not require detailed information on the usage of a fraternal organization. To ask about activities or membership and then approve or deny based on those factors could be unconstitutional.

“Are we going to ask, What’s the racial composition of your members? What religion do you practice? What do you believe in?” Reuter asked. “Sexual expression is protected under the First Amendment.” ...

Before Twitter porn controversy, Ted Cruz didn’t think masturbating was a laughing matter

on Wednesday, 13 September 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates



A court of appeals ruled against Cruz. In a decision, judges rejected Cruz’s argument and characterized the case as being “about controlling what people do in the privacy of their own homes because the State is morally opposed to a certain type of consensual private intimate conduct… Whatever one might think or believe about the use of these devices, government interference with their personal and private use violates the Constitution.” ...

Dakota Johnson Gets Down and Dirty With BDSM Toy in New, Kinky 'Fifty Shades' Trailer

on Wednesday, 13 September 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

'Fifty Shades Freed' will be released in February 2018

Men's Health

by Gus Turner

The controversial Fifty Shades of Grey series has been criticized for its depictions of BDSM relationships. Still, the books and their accompanying films have been no less impactful on the sexual imaginations of many. Critics have denounced the books as irresponsible with respect to the issues of sexual consent and domestic violence, but, in 2015, upon the release of the first 50 Shades movie, Pornhub found that BDSM-related searches increased on the site, particularly among women. In spite of the criticism and middling reviews, the franchise trudges on, and lo, we now present to you the trailer for the series' third film: Fifty Shades Freed. ...

When Should You Define The Relationship? 7 Times You Need To Have The DTR Talk

on Wednesday, 13 September 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates



“Define the relationship” usually means deciding to be monogamous with someone, but these days monogamy isn’t the only option. Marriage is optional; polyamory is a thing; and open relationships are slowly moving out of the shadows. In this new understanding of different relationship possibilities, determining the relationship means having a conversation about your expectations for the future — and how your love interest fits into that. Do you want to be monogamous? Do you want an open relationship? Do you want more of an official commitment than you’re currently getting? It’s a complicated situation — and it can be really scary. ...

Great kinky sex is just three magic words away: Conversation, consideration, consent

on Thursday, 07 September 2017. Posted in Media Updates

Mail & Guardian

by Kagure Mugo 

When people think of bondage, domination, sadism and masochism (BDSM), they either have visions of 50 Shades of Grey or scenes from Criminal Minds. This is caused by the mass misunderstanding of what kink as a sexual practice is, with few being privy to the intricate nature that goes into the practice of BDSM.


Now, being a small-town girl, I had always been warned about the wildness of the big city. Moving to the City of Gold really did unleash some strange things in me. One of the many magical things I discovered was the beautiful and sensual world of kink that existed online and offline and consisted of mainly queer brown womxn.


I had also thought BDSM was “some mess for freaky white folk” and could not understand why a queer black woman would enter a realm of that nature. How did one get into role-play scenarios that involved words such as “submissive” and “dominant” and “bondage” without flashbacks to scenes straight out of 12 Years a Slave? After colonisation, apartheid, the rise and rise of misogynoir, homophobic rape and the God-Blessed-Patriarchy, was it not way too soon to be subbing while “black, queer and a woman?”


I was soon to learn that it was my own misconceptions (and belief in my ridiculously low pain threshold) that held me back from a wealth of sexual wisdom. I also learnt about candle play, knife play and stuff involving all those down with the delicious framework of queer women driving each other to orgasm. I also quickly learnt that at the core of kink are four main principles: consent, openness, trust and safe words.


The kink world is one filled with safe words, sexual contracts and conscious conversations about wants, limits and desires. I once saw a contract that could rival an application for a loan at a bank, but you knew by the time anyone finished filling out that sucker there would be no ifs, ands or buts about what anyone wanted in bed that night. ...

September is Consent Month!

on Thursday, 07 September 2017. Posted in NCSF News

The Lawyers Are Coming and It’s a Good Thing

on Friday, 01 September 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

By Dick Cunningham


In its major project on revising the criminal laws on sexual assault, the prestigious American Law Institute is taking a hard look at consent as a defense in BDSM-related prosecutions. And NCSF is providing important input to that project.


As many of you are painfully aware, courts throughout the United States have consistently refused to recognize consent as a defense in criminal assault cases that arise from BDSM incidents. Even though the ALI’s  Model Penal Code—which has been adopted by most states—says consent is a defense to assault unless “serious bodily injury” has occurred, courts regularly ignore that rule. They regard BDSM as violent assault and issue rulings that use of nipple clamps for dripping hot wax constitutes "serious bodily injury”.


NCSF brought this issue to the attention of the Sexual Assault Project, which has taken the issue very seriously.  This is important, because the ALI is one of the most prestigious legal organizations, and their Model Penal Code—of which the new sexual assault rules will be a part—is adopted by most states.  If they reclassify BDSM prosecutions as sexual contact instead of violent assault and if they clarify the importance of consent in the practice of BDSM, the criminal treatment of our communities will change dramatically for the better.


NCSF has been active in the Project’s deliberations, communicating with the Project Chair, submitting quite detailed legal analyses, providing education to dispel misconceptions about BDSM, and—beginning with the ALI’s annual meeting—attending and participating in the discussions of sexual assault issues. We have been making the following principal points:


• BDSM is intimate and erotic behavior and thus should not be prosecuted as a violent assault by one person against another.

• Specifically, BDSM belongs in the category of “sexual contact” crimes, where prosecution depends on the determination that consent was not given for the erotic contact. BDSM does not belong in the same category as rape, because penetration—if it occurs at all is not truly part of the BDSM activity.

• The project needs to be aware of the importance placed upon consent in the BDSM communities to understand that BDSM scenes may involve (as part of the fantasy) understandings that the usual expressions of unwillingness “no”, “stop”, etc. can be disregarded and instead prearranged “safe words” (“red”, “yellow”, etc.) may be used.

• The project also needs to understand that consent needs to be “informed consent”, not only in BDSM, but also in all sexual assault contexts.  By “informed consent”, we mean the participants need to agree (a) who will be involved, (b) what is agreed to be done and not done, (c) the potential risks, (d) where and how the bottom will be touched, (e) the location or venue where the acts will be conducted and (f) the procedure for stopping or moderating the acts.  


Our issues will be front and center at the mid-October meeting of the ALI Sexual Assault Project and NCSF has, at the ALI’s request, submitted detailed comments. And I, as NCSFs Consent Counts counsel have joined the ALI and will be an active participant in the October session.


Keep your fingers crossed. This could produce something very important. 


For more information about this important project, please consider attending the NCSF and TES Consent Summit in New York City on September 16 -


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