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A Short History of Sexual Consent

on Friday, 19 October 2018. Posted in NCSF in the News!, Front Page Headline

Kinkly

Kinksters already faced so many barriers and concerns for creating a viable community that they determined that violations of consent could not be tolerated. More and more kink groups wrote rules on asking permission and assuring that all participants at events were of sound mind and body to be making informed decisions. In 1981, a leather collective in New York, Gay Male S/M Activists (GMSMA), formed and created a community that would write the first consent bylaws. The concept of safe, sane and consensual was coined by GMSMA and used as a holistic discussion and benchmark for best practices around consent in kink play spaces. Today, the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom continues this mission with its Consent Counts program and resources. While history may never tell us for sure, there is a wide perception that the seeds of the consent movement were sown in the kink community and were what ultimately inspired the policy changes that were later seen on college campuses.

Talking to My Fiancé About My New Girlfriend

on Tuesday, 16 October 2018. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

After enjoying an open relationship, a couple decides to tie the knot. Just one question: Why must marriage require sexual fidelity for life?

NY Times

But I am not going to promise him that our love won’t change, and neither will he promise that to me. The fact that love absolutely will change is one of my favorite things about love. Rather, as the love changes, I hope Luke and I will be able to hold each other with compassion; that we will stay curious and empathetic.

Conservative think tanker comes out as a woman, shares love of 'wine, gender fluidity and BDSM' with new wife

on Monday, 15 October 2018. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Washington Examiner

"I ask for people’s indulgence. That line of gender and sexuality is deeply personal for everybody,” she said. “I’m appreciative of what I’m asking of people. But as long as I can keep doing useful work, I’d rather be judged principally by that.”

18 10 15

How Kink Made These People’s Sex Lives Healthier

on Thursday, 11 October 2018. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

VICE

Where do you think kink has the most positive effect?
I think body confidence. I like the way I look in the negligee. I like the feeling of the silk on my skin. I like the way my partner looks at me. All of it is cohesive in bringing together a healthy and comfortable approach to my body. So many women struggle with their own body image because we live in a society that is constantly making us feel bad about how we look. Every day it's like—‘what does society tell us we should look like today?’, ’what does society tell us we should wear?’, ’who is claiming purchase over our bodies today?’ As women we live day to day trying to find a way to own our bodies that doesn’t rely on someone else's validation. Owning my pleasure through kink is really helping me embrace my body. Rather than being detached to the jiggly wiggly parts of my body, I feel attached to it because it’s my body in its entirety that gives me pleasure.

Would a BDSM Sex Robot Violate Asimov's First Law of Robotics?

on Tuesday, 09 October 2018. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Gizmodo

The foundations of healthy, happy, satisfying, and pleasurable sexual experiences are trust, effective communication, and of course, consent between people. The role of consent for the human in any situation is physical and psychological safety. At the same time, human sexuality includes many behaviors that rely on someone’s interior life and what uniquely excites them, and for some people that includes role playing and other creative interactions that sometimes involve testing and teasing physical and emotional limits of the body with their trusted partner(s), or practicing things that society may consider taboo. However, in this case we are discussing scenarios between a (let’s say non-sentient) robot and human(s), so the idea of consent should be human-centered, as in the Laws.

 

NCSF Thanks! – 3rd Quarter Donation Report

on Tuesday, 09 October 2018. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

Thank you to Russell J. Stambaugh, a Board Member of NCSF, for donating $4,000 to the NCSF Foundation to help support NCSF’s educational outreach with AASECT and the APA.

 

Thank you to Jaiya, Inc., an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $530 to the NCSF Foundation in July, $720 in August and $515 in September for a total of $1,765.

 

Thank you to Kink.com for becoming an NCSF Coalition Partner and to the employees of Kink.com for donating $750 as their 2018 fundraiser for NCSF.

 

NCSF Thanks James Dunyak, NCSF’s New England Advocate, for donating $200 in July, $200 in August and $200 in September for a total of $600.

 

NCSF thanks our Coalition Partner, Adventures in Sexuality, for raising $204 through a 50/50 raffle at COPE in July, along with another $259 raised at NCSF’s Coffee and Consent Bar at the event that was hosted by Jackie (NCSF Board Member) for a total of $463.

 

Thank you to the Black Knot Rope Group, a Coalition Partner of NCSF, for donating $420 in August that was raised from their Consent and Negotiation Night Raffle.

 

Thank you to Exodus to the Woods, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $358 to NCSF that was raised at their annual camping event in the last week of August.

 

And thank you to the members of TES who donated $223 in cash donations at the table at TES Fest – your generosity is appreciated!

 

Thank you to FIRE (Florida Intense Rope Experience), an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $300 to the NCSF membership group in August which was raised by raffling off their last FIRE blanket at their conference.

 

Thank you for STL3 for donating $200 to NCSF in August as their annual Coalition Partner fundraiser.

 

Thank you to Long Island Leather n Roses, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $165 as their annual Coalition Partner fundraiser that was raised by a raffle on behalf of NCSF in September.

 

NCSF Incident Reporting & Response – 3rd Quarter 2018 report

on Tuesday, 09 October 2018. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

By Susan Wright

Director of IRR

NCSF’s Incident Reporting & Response received 62 reports & requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in July, August & September 2018. That is down from 76 in the 2nd Quarter, and 87 in the 1st Quarter 2018, but still a 50% higher report rate than the last two quarters of 2017.

NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help. However, we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest.

Here is a breakdown of the cases we dealt with in the 3rd Quarter of 2018:

Criminal

There were 22 requests for resources and information involving criminal legal matters – 20% less than in the 2nd Quarter: 

  • 11 of those requests came from people who reported an assault, sexual assault, stalking, harassment, or were requests by prosecutors who needed education about consensual BDSM practices.
  • 11 people requested resources and referrals for attorneys to assist in defending themselves against accusations of assault, sexual assault, stalking, harassment and threats of outing.

Groups

19 groups needed assistance compared to 27 groups in the 2nd Quarter of 2018:

  • 7 groups needed help dealing with consent incidents or were inquiring about presenters/organizers
  • 5 people were protesting being banned by a group
  • 2 groups asked for assistance in dealing with police – 1 was falsely reported to be involved in sex trafficking and 1 was misrepresented to the police
  • 2 groups asked for assistance in doing outreach to local civic and community organizations
  • 1 group needed assistance in creating a consent policy
  • 1 group was reported for outing
  • 1 group was dealing with incorporation

Child Custody

There were 11 requests for resources and referrals for family court attorneys, up from 8 in the 2nd Quarter of 2018:

  • 7 involved BDSM (3 with FetLife photos and 1 with photos on the cloud)
  • 2 involved both BDSM and polyamorous relationships
  • 1 involved sex work
  • 1 involved CPS

Civil

8 requests, compared to 3 requests in the 2nd Quarter of 2018:

  • 2 people needed help after being outed
  • 2 people needed help with civic and community organizations
  • 2 people were banned by businesses – one by PayPal and the other by AirBnB
  • 1 employment discrimination because of BDSM and poly against a Federal employee
  • 1 person needed help with photos that were posted without permission

Professional

2 people needed professional referrals – for a therapist and an attorney.

The Complete Guide to Rough Sex

on Saturday, 06 October 2018. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Brides

Check in after you’re finished having sexy time. Compare what each of you enjoyed about the experience. If there were any changes you’d like to make, say so. The most important thing about any sexual play is that both people enjoy themselves and walk away feeling good about themselves.

 

 

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